yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
