i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
