I saw his package. It spoke to me.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
