i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
