Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
