Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
