Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
