Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
