I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
