She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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