6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
