sarcasm needs its own font
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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