So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
