Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize