it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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