why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
