wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
50% drunk capacity currently
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
