Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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