Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
