Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
