when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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