I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
