If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
