put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
