hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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