So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
