Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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