5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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