I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
