Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
