I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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