I've blown a few things in my day
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
