I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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