and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
