we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Randomize