i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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