They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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