did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
