you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
