What a fucking waste of an outfit
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
