stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
