if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
