I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
