So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
