Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
