Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize