A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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