Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
