So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
