dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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