What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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