win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
