Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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