elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
