Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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