Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Can I color on your dick again?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
