Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
