i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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