you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize