he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
