dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
