What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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