She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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