We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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