I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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