In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize